this stupid stupid feeling

i'm soo mad cause i' having this stupid cramps...since last nite...couldn't sleep well...constantly having nightmares...sumtimes i'm thinking about this thing that we, women, have to have...it's not that i'm complaining...but...it's the ever changing mood, the cramps...the crankiness...blablabla....oh geez.....

this plan to carita also makes me feel bad...cause, sum people want to stay at marbella, but with limited budget we will have to stay at one room...with 8people...geezz, .......we can rent with cheaper rate (i got it in the net), but still...if you do not reserve some place thru' it's official channel...sometimes it makes you wonder whether all things are going to be okay...after all...it's vacation...we wouldn't want anything to be not okay.....but, thank goodness some are wiser by choosing cheaper and bigger place with the same budget...think i'm going with the 2nd choice...cause, for me, it's not about the place.......

nnn....i'm lil bit confused now...someone offered me a job...it's in the other island....very tempting and beautiful one....it's not that i got the job already....i still have to go thru' the interview ect....but....already, last night i gave lots of thought bout it...whether i have enough courage to leave all these behind me...starting new life there...i want to move from this company i'm currently working at...but, moving to other city as well as other island is not the same with just moving to other company....here....i already discussed this with someone...and the decision is that i'll go with the interview process, if i get the job and the salary is okayy...i'll move...and then after couple of months...i'll go back here, to jakarta....!!!!...God...what kind of decision is that???.....wouldn't i waste my time...my energy...to do something halfway like that???? actually that's not my decision, it's his decision, considering what??...i dunno....me, myself, still wondering, what i'll decide and do...